I recently had the opportunity to experience the subtleties of wedding planning firsthand. Here are a few practical tips from the groom’s perspective that might be helpful to others planning their own wedding.
• Planning the budget exactly may be difficult—allow for some variation; I’d recommend at least 20%. However, having a budget is essential, as it serves as a useful decision-making tool when faced with too many choices. Keep in mind, especially with third-party suppliers (not just planners), that they may recognize the potential for emotional spending and could be inclined to charge more. Initially, present the occasion simply as an ‘event’; avoid open-ended arrangements with no spend caps and ensure the contract is transparent about pricing. When negotiating, be wary of buzzwords like ‘peace of mind’, ‘creating memories’, or ‘once in a lifetime, hopefully’ (using as a joke to connect). Planning in advance helps keeping the cost down.
• Accept help friends and relatives may offer. Delegation of any responsibility allows for less worries on the day you will still have plenty to worry about.
• Have a central channel of communication between yourselves as the organizers and the guests. Helps cascading down the information and recent updates (like adapting to the weather), connects people even before the ceremony, serves as a good place to exchange photos + lost&found. We used whatsapp group, but also a great recommendation we received from a friends would be to use an app like celebrate: share photo & video.
• Weather the bride gets walked in by her parent(s) or not, come early to the wedding ceremony location. In such a way you’ll have time to adjust to the surroundings, lights and view perspective and by the time guests arrive, you’ll have a sense that they came to your ceremony rather than arrived at theirs as a guest.
• This may come across as controversial advice, but being more of the sensitive nature, it has proved itself to work for me. Although watching the bride walk-in is a sight one may want to remember, glancing may be enough to capture those precious moments. Feel free to focus on something else and focus on the bride only when she’s in the immediate vision.
• Connect with the guests during the ceremony. They came here for both or one of you and because of that only. They could have not come but they freely decided to show up. Breath in the energy, connect with the present moment by observing the gathering and the faces not necessarily focusing on each that much. Appreciate the moment of being together. Your own funeral may be the moment they next gather.
• If and when possible, make the ceremony personal to yourselves as much as possible. This is and needs to be your ceremony. Small touches make a big difference. Mentioning the people you love during the ceremony speech, selecting witnesses and music with the meaning.
• Don’t use alcohol before the ceremony. Future you will not want to remember this moment being experienced under the influence. Not to mention relatives and guests would notice. In case feel of the need, alternative or traditional calming medicament is a better option to go.
• Wedding rings. It’s something that (hopefully) will be worn for long time, so choose something that you feel you’d really wear. Paired rings is nice, but not necessary. For example traditional gold ring may be classic and work for many, they may not necessarily have the spark. Consider your skin undertones when selecting gold – white may work better for cold skin undertones whereas yellow works better for the warm undertones. Remember, that the wedding ring is the symbol of your spouse’s vows and symbols are always personal. Engraving the ring is a good way to personalize even further.
Bonus tip: Admit that you can’t control everything that happens—and don’t try to. At some point, it’s best to let go and allow things to work themselves out. Focusing on just a few key priorities and concentrating your efforts on those is, in my view, a practical solution.
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